When the devastating earthquakes hit Haiti last year like so many I was unsure what to do to help. With the recent tsunami and earthquakes that hit Japan I am once again hit with those same feelings.
Because of the tremendous turnout with the Haiti necklace's I am once again offering a chance to purchase either a {blessed} or {hope} necklace in which $10 from every necklace sold will go to aid in Japan relief.
we were running low on groceries so we made a trip to town. our families slight addiction didn't look that bad in the cart. however once groceries were put away in our house it became apparent we have a small problem.
we can not get enough of these things
favorites:
Tim...lime
Kinzley...lime
Kenna... she does care. she eats whatever is the easiest to get to. shocking I know.
Shawna: grape, although I do like lemonade too {not shown}
yes there are a few we didn't buy {grin}
we got two new flavors today. pineapple and acai blueberry which I don't think sounds good at all.
we didn't care for coconut.
i'd really like if they would mix the strawberry and lemonade together. Kenna and I get tired licking each others popsicle to get this flavor.
yes. these are a big enough part of our life that they made the blog. sad but true.
A few weeks ago my crafty 7 year old came out of her room with yet another one-of-a-kind Kinzley design.
She had decided she needed to catch a leprechaun to take to school and made her very own leprechaun trap. :) This design has sat on her table in her room since that time but she hadn't really mentioned anything about it again.
Until last night...
I go into tell her goodnight and see her making some final adjustments {stairs!} to the device that she is sure will catch a leprechaun.
She was so so sure she would wake up this morning and there would be a wee little green man in her Mt Dew can. {Evidently her Leprechaun is 2 inches tall. :) }
I mean she was so sure her plan was foolproof. How could any leprechaun resist a shiny gold ring dangling from a piece of yarn attached to a toilet paper roll tube?
From my understanding in his attempt to grab the ring his weight would make him fall into the can. In case that wasn't enough incentive she had another gold ring inside the can to lure him in.
What could go wrong?
All she needed was a leprechaun.
She was so very excited last night, I didn't have the heart to tell her chances are there wouldn't be a leprechaun inside. I actually had quite a few suggestions from facebook friends on different ideas however didn't end up putting green food coloring, gold or powder in the can. I just figured I'd go with the leprechauns are invisible theory this morning
Turns out in true Kinzley fashion she figured the answer out all by herself.
She was up before me this morning and as soon as I saw her I braced myself for the hurt heart of not having something come true when you are certain it would. {Kinda like the time the tooth fairy forgot to leave money under her pillow and my poor broken heart-ed girl sat holding tears back with a tiny tooth in the palm of her hand}
Instead I see a child bouncing off the walls, pleased as can be that the leprechaun did in fact make a night visit to her room. She then took me into her room to see the "evidence" that he was there.
See that can knocked over?!?! Proof in her eyes, he did in fact try to get his gold. She even said she heard him but was just to tired to wake up. And Zowe heard him to. She even went over by the trap to see him. The leprechaun got scared of the cat, knocked over the can and ran off.
Yep Kinzley. That is exactly what happened. :)
Although she did figure she better double check the can just in case.
But wait it gets even better.
Further proof he was here.....
I'm sure you are wondering what exactly that is and how it ties into this story. At the risk of making myself sound slightly crazy.....
My dogs got sprayed by a skunk yesterday and earned themselves a night {or 10!} in the garage. Our oldest dog is a bit spoiled and a baby and honestly I can't tell you a time when he had to sleep in the garage. Needless to say he was slightly ticked off and proceeded to bark all night. Unfortunately our bedroom wall shares a wall with the garage. We had put the shock collar on him before we went to bed since he feels the weight of it and doesn't bark. Good for us since the 9 volt battery in the remote was dead anyways. Around 2am he decided to bark and nothing happened. So he continued to bark and bark and bark. Finally I had had it and got up to steal a battery from where ever I could find one. Our smoke alarms are wired with the house as well as having a 9 volt battery. The remote ended up with a battery, our dog {biggest wimp there ever was} got the positive vibration through the collar that is used in training as a reward and decided to stop barking. And the smoke alarm who was missing a battery let out a loud pitched beep every 30 seconds until I got back out of bed to wrap it in a towel and place it as far away from my room as possible outside on the deck.
Which brings me back to Kinzley seeing the smoke alarm missing this morning with wires hanging down from the ceiling. Of course this is the route the leprechaun used to get in and out of our house!
I could not make this stuff up if I tried.
One more thing......My sister was here the day the original design was made and made the silly mistake of asking Kinzley why she had never made a fairy trap.
Kinz took a deep breathe and answered in all seriousness, "Trudy, I'm not sure if you know this.......but fairies aren't real."
Disclaimer:
No leprechauns were hurt in the making of this post.
and please please don't ever take pictures of my thighs while I sleep ;)
{I took these a few weeks ago. Earlier this week my sister took Jolie to the Dr. because of a high fever. She ended up being diagnosed with H1N1. Please keep her in your prayers that she starts feeling better soon and doesn't end up with pneumonia which is a possibility following H1N1. She's miserable. Poor thing!}
Look who came to visit and brought all his expressions with him!
The smiles came out the camera was put away. The smiles came out when we talked about how Gray doesn't really care so much for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse like his Dad thought. Nope smiles came out when I mentioned Hannah Montana and Justin Beiber.
He's gonna be just like his Dad and his love for pop music. ;)
Not long ago, my poor husband had the misfortune of walking in the house at the exact moment I was putting new batteries in the external flash on my camera.
The he sat down which I interpreted to mean, 'he actually wanted his picture taken.'
Right?
Had he not had been wearing his {dirty} carharts and his Gander Mountain camo hat I {probably} wouldn't have even taken any. It's just I knew these photos would capture the true spirit of my husband. The redneck that he is.
{Although I do feel the need to mention.....we had ONE day of 60 degree weather a few weeks ago and Tim took ALL the winter coats/boots/hats downstairs to storage. He decided he'd had enough of winter and we would no longer need them.....Later that week while I watched the snow fall, I went and grabbed them for him again ;) }
As I look at these photos of my husband with his little grin I can't help but smile along too. If you've read my blog for long you know last summer the world as we knew it spun out of our control. 'Cause ya know, it's all in 'our control.' {insert sarcasm here}
While we know God has a plan for our life, it's something different entirely when God actually follows His plan and we are left in the dark wondered what just happened. It was during this time I kept thinking of one of my favorite quotes:
When you have come to the edge of all the light you have known and are about to step out into the darkness, FAITH is knowing one of two things will happen...There will be something to stand on or You will be taught how to fly.
You see, Tim has battled anxiety and depression the entire 15 years I have known him. This past summer his body built up a tolerance to his medication and he needed to find a combination of new ones that would help. It took a long 6 months, trying many many med combination, being off work for a period of time and a job change before he started feeling like his normal fun loving self again.
While he has had NO reservations about me telling my blog readers, I on the other hand have. It's not because I am embarrassed or don't believe his illness is truly that, an illness. No, I've never mentioned it because I in no way would ever ever want to paint Tim in a negative light. I can't begin to describe the honor it is to be his wife. It literally moves me to tears to know that my girls have the privileged to call him 'Dad.' Knowing he is theirs, he is mine is an absolute gift from God to us. I can't type into words the love, the respect, the selflessness Tim gives the three of us. I'd never want to portray him as anything other than a Christian man who loves his God and loves his girls. ;)
But.
He is all these amazing things while living with a mental illness. His mental illness is part of him. It's not something either of us want or would wish on anyone. But it in part makes him Tim. That also makes his mental illness part of me. It's taken me, let's see 15 years minus the last 9 months to fully grasp how crippling depression and anxiety can be not only on the one with the illness but the family too.
Recently I came across a blog called Our Crazy Marriage written by a wife and her husband who has a mental illness. It was such a source of encouragement to read from the point of view of the another wife with a bipolar husband.
Wife, Joanie writes: "I don't spend time most days thinking about how life would be different or how Toben would be different or even how I would be different without bipolar disorder in our lives. Mostly I've accepted it. Yes, I wish it wasn't so, have prayed for Toben to be healed. But I think it's our thorn.
The Apostle Paul prayed for the thorn in his flesh (whatever it was) to be removed, but God said no. Because God's strength is made perfect in our weakness. In our lack, he provides. In our brokenness, he is glorified.
I've said it before--and I really do mean it--that this bipolar thing is a gift. Not one I'd wish on anyone, and certainly not one I wanted or asked for. But God has used it for much good in our lives and for his glory."
Through out this past summer I truly learned what it meant to fully rely on God. I don't know how many times I thought, "I can't take anymore. I am not strong enough to carry this entire family on my shoulders." Time and time again I would feel peace upon realizing, I didn't have to be strong. I didn't have to carry my family, God was strong enough to carry us all. God wanted me to throw myself at His feet and trust that He would carry me, my husband and our girls.
While Tim is back to his normal self, it's never far from our thoughts about where he was. While he does take new medication, we both know it's not the medication itself that makes him feel like himself. It's the grace of God who ultimately brought him out of this overwhelming period. It's God who gets the glory. In the future if God so chooses to take us back down this path, it will be God who gets the glory then too. It's our desire to be used by Him. If this is our purpose then we trust He will never forsake us as He brings hard times our way. We will remember God's strength is made perfect in our weakness.
So.....
This post got much longer and much more detailed than I'd originally intended. I simply heard a new song that reminded me of the life Tim and I live and wanted to post it. I wanted to give a little background info and instead gave a lot! After waiting a few days and praying I am going to publish this in hopes that our openness can help anyone struggling with anxiety or anyone whose loved one is struggling. If anyone ever needs to talk, I'm only an email away. :)
{ Dancing in the Minefields }
We went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for..
Cause we bear the light of the Son of man
So there’s nothing left to fear
So I’ll walk with you in the shadow lands
Till the shadows disappear
Cause He promised not to leave us
And His promises are true
So in the face of all this chaos baby,
I will dance with you......
So we dance in good times and bad.
There is no one else I'd rather be dancing with.
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{ps. I wouldn't be a photographer worth my salt if I didn't acknowledge the location and the awesome chairs used in the making of this music video ;) }
